Hmmm

How did I get here? How did I open this door out of every other door available? How did I become this  person, with this 'type' of 'problems'? How is this the bed i made, I thought I had better sense when choosing sheets? How did I not understand there are always two sides to a coin, how on earth did i make my life decision based on one part.

I get that most people get to a point where they think what I am thinking, and feel exactly the same things? how do they make it out, make it through?

Certain choices, decisions I have made that have led me to this point, leave me so bitter and weary. constantly looking through this glass house for salvation! I don't think I want to be just because of them, but what of her?

Hmm.

My happiness can not be hinged on people, but what of the people that suck it out of me any opportunity they get, shouldn't they be done with?

How long am I going to spend in these shoes, are these shoes even mine to begin with? sometimes it feels like i picked the wrong pair, and mine is on its way to me.... and i feel do hurry.

Truth is in spite of how all this feels, i must keep confessing the blessing over my life.

'.... He maketh me lie down in green pastures'

One day I will read this entry, and be glad to be finally wearing my pair.

I know there are no perfect days, I know my beautiful pair of shoes will still have to touch concrete, but i just feel this isn't meant to be my life, this is not the life I want.